Today I had to take my old dog to the vet to have her put down. She was in so much pain and she hadn't eaten in two days, so it was time.
I got Holley when she was just a tiny puppy. It was Christmas time and my Mom decided that it would be a great present to bring me a puppy from the pound. She was so little, and bow-legged, and she had my heart from the first time I saw her. I worked very hard to train her and I found it extremely easy with her being a Border Collie/German Shepard mix. She was the most loyal dog I ever had and she stuck by me through it all.
Last night, however, when Jake, Evan, and I came home from Nannie's, she was laying on the kitchen floor gulping water from her dish. I knew that something wasn't right so Jake carried her outside and she went potty and I got Evan ready for bed. We put her in the bedroom with us with the gate up so she didn't go drink more water because she was throwing it all up. Jake had to go to work so I was alone and I had to wake up almost every hour to clean up her messes. It broke my heart.
When Evan came in to wake me up this morning, she looked a little better. But when I opened up the gate to take her outside she didn't even try to get up. I knew that I would have to say goodbye. I called the vet and they said to bring her in right away, so I got Evan set up to watch a movie and Jake carried her out to the car for me. I gave him a kiss goodbye, and drove to the clinic. When our vet came in, it only took him about a minute to tell me that there was nothing he could do. I knew that was what he was going to say but it still hurt. They came back in with the syringe and told me I could hold her and tell her I loved her while she slipped away. She took one last breath and he confirmed that she was gone and I started sobbing. They left me alone with her for a little while and I said my goodbyes and left.
We are going to have a private cremation and my Mom and I will be taking her ashes out to the lake in Sutherland. She loved it out there.
I miss my dog so much and I know she is in a better place but I still wish she was with me.
Monday, October 3, 2011
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Officially A Family
Well, today was officially the first day that my house had a man, woman, and child living there!! Although we spent all day at Nannie's house, it felt really awesome to go "home" with my men. It is everything I ever dreamed it would be and more. Evan got a bath went we got home and played for a little bit and then we kissed Daddy goodnight and goodbye since he had to work. I read him a couple books and set up some music and kissed him goodnight. Now, I get to lay in bed knowing that I have my little family at home with me. I am one happy birdie tonight :)
Tomorrow is another day of cleaning up Jake's old room at Nannie's and then we have a birthday party to attend in the afternoon. I have a feeling I am really going to like this whole "mommy" business. Plus, having a small child around will keep my ADD in check, no more boredom for me!! Hello Parenthood!!
I also have some other good news... I am going to be an Auntie!! We just found out this weekend that Jake's twin brother, Josh, and his fiance are expecting. I am one of 7 step-children (including my step-brother who died of cancer at the age of 18) and none of them have kids yet so this is the closest thing I have to a niece or nephew. Auntie Kimmy is going to love him/her so, so much and he/she is going to get spoiled so much!!
Now, Jake and I have the wedding to look forward to. We aren't officially engaged yet but we have decided on May 5th. I asked Jake if he was going to propose sometime between now and May 4th, and his response: "Maybe." Hahahaha. I can't wait to be "Man and Wife" and start expanding our family. Evan calls me mom, and it will be even more exciting when I have a little one myself :)
Tomorrow is another day of cleaning up Jake's old room at Nannie's and then we have a birthday party to attend in the afternoon. I have a feeling I am really going to like this whole "mommy" business. Plus, having a small child around will keep my ADD in check, no more boredom for me!! Hello Parenthood!!
I also have some other good news... I am going to be an Auntie!! We just found out this weekend that Jake's twin brother, Josh, and his fiance are expecting. I am one of 7 step-children (including my step-brother who died of cancer at the age of 18) and none of them have kids yet so this is the closest thing I have to a niece or nephew. Auntie Kimmy is going to love him/her so, so much and he/she is going to get spoiled so much!!
Now, Jake and I have the wedding to look forward to. We aren't officially engaged yet but we have decided on May 5th. I asked Jake if he was going to propose sometime between now and May 4th, and his response: "Maybe." Hahahaha. I can't wait to be "Man and Wife" and start expanding our family. Evan calls me mom, and it will be even more exciting when I have a little one myself :)
Monday, September 26, 2011
Are we there yet?!?!?
Well, only 4 days left until the big move!! When I dropped Evan off at school this morning his teachers asked him if he was ready and he got a smile on his face and eagerly said, "YES!!" While I was signing him in, he was telling one of the teacher's what toys he was going to bring and I couldn't help but smile. I am hoping that this transition goes well and there are very few tears.
I am in the process of deep cleaning my house so that everything is ready for moving day. I don't usually clean everyday but it feels nice to go to bed knowing that everything is done that I needed to get done. The last task I am dreading doing is brushing out the cats and dogs. They need it but they don't like it, the cats anyway.
After reading Evan his bed-time story, we had a talk about moving day. I asked him what all he wanted to bring and he was listing off a bunch of different things. I am going to have him help pack so he has a say in what he wants to take and what he wants to leave. I am looking forward to having a "family at home" and taking on more responsibility. I can't wait :)
I am in the process of deep cleaning my house so that everything is ready for moving day. I don't usually clean everyday but it feels nice to go to bed knowing that everything is done that I needed to get done. The last task I am dreading doing is brushing out the cats and dogs. They need it but they don't like it, the cats anyway.
After reading Evan his bed-time story, we had a talk about moving day. I asked him what all he wanted to bring and he was listing off a bunch of different things. I am going to have him help pack so he has a say in what he wants to take and what he wants to leave. I am looking forward to having a "family at home" and taking on more responsibility. I can't wait :)
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
The Beginning
Evan Ryan and Jacob Ryan Lipinski. Two names that have changed my world forever. But before I go into who exactly they are, let me tell you how I met them....
On November 17, 2010, I was in a hotel room in Phoenix, Arizona. It was my birthday and my Mom had taken me to Phoenix as a present and because she had to go for her job. I was bored and decided to get onto Zoosk.com. I had broken up with my fiancee that past July and had a few hopefuls try to win me over but with no success. I just needed someone to talk to. I found a couple guys, but after only a few minutes one realizes that you have to pay Zoosk for anything other than a wink. Then, I found Jake. I winked at him, and he winked at me, so I read his profile and I saw that he was a single father that had sole custody of his 3-year-old son. That was the hook, line, and sinker for me. Since we couldn't talk anymore unless we paid, I decided that maybe it just wasn't meant to be and I just kept looking. After about an hour or two at the poolside (while my fellow North Plattians were freezing their tails off in a blizzard) I decided to call it quits and I didn't get back on until the next week when I went to Texas to see my family for Thanksgiving. Even though I kept looking for someone, I always ended up back on that profile of that single father. I decided that I would try Plentyoffish.com and thought that maybe there could be a crazy coincidence that he was on that site too. I looked and looked and finally, I found him!!
We talked all night long, and I know it sounds silly, but I knew that he was the one that night. I had never had that kind of conversation with a guy before and I knew in my heart that I had to make him mine, but at the same time, I knew he already was. On Thanksgiving day, I gave him my phone number and we texted all day, and everyday until I came home that Sunday. I invited him up to Sutherland to stay with me that night, even though it was completely crazy and could be considered reckless. When he got out of his car, he walked up to me, and I wrapped my arms around him. I knew then that I loved him and that we would be together forever. I know now that "love at first sight" happens, because it happened to me. Little did I know, it would happen again.
I was nervous to meet his son, and I had complete justification in so. Evan was 3 years old and at that age, they can decide (and verbalize) who they don't like. When Jake opened his parent's front door and that bouncy little boy came up the stairs, I fell in love. His beautiful brown hair, deep brown eyes, and his father's smile had me hooked. Then, all my insecurities were wiped out when Evan had a long conversation with me, wanted me to see his toys, and gave me a hug. When Jake told me the story of Evan's birth-mother, my heart broke. Now that I think back, I know that that is the reason why I took to the "mother" role so quickly.
I moved from Sutherland to North Platte in February, 2011, and I knew on the day that I moved, that I wanted Jake and Evan to come live with me and be my new family. We decided to wait until we had been together a little longer and until Jake had been full time on the railroad for a while. Then, we finally decided that they would move in on September 30th, which makes me jump for joy!! Evan has recently started calling me "Mom" and we have asked him why and he says (in his own words), "Because you and Daddy a get married, and you be my Mom." I have explained that it is alright if he calls me Mom, but I will never ask him to or pressure him to keep doing it. I am not going to lie, it makes me more than elated that he wants to do it, however, I feel like there are going to be some problems in the future with his biological Mom. In all honesty, I have spent more time with Evan in the past 10 months than she has spent with him in his whole life. I love him as if he were my own, and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life being his Mom and Jake's wife (someday).
On November 17, 2010, I was in a hotel room in Phoenix, Arizona. It was my birthday and my Mom had taken me to Phoenix as a present and because she had to go for her job. I was bored and decided to get onto Zoosk.com. I had broken up with my fiancee that past July and had a few hopefuls try to win me over but with no success. I just needed someone to talk to. I found a couple guys, but after only a few minutes one realizes that you have to pay Zoosk for anything other than a wink. Then, I found Jake. I winked at him, and he winked at me, so I read his profile and I saw that he was a single father that had sole custody of his 3-year-old son. That was the hook, line, and sinker for me. Since we couldn't talk anymore unless we paid, I decided that maybe it just wasn't meant to be and I just kept looking. After about an hour or two at the poolside (while my fellow North Plattians were freezing their tails off in a blizzard) I decided to call it quits and I didn't get back on until the next week when I went to Texas to see my family for Thanksgiving. Even though I kept looking for someone, I always ended up back on that profile of that single father. I decided that I would try Plentyoffish.com and thought that maybe there could be a crazy coincidence that he was on that site too. I looked and looked and finally, I found him!!
We talked all night long, and I know it sounds silly, but I knew that he was the one that night. I had never had that kind of conversation with a guy before and I knew in my heart that I had to make him mine, but at the same time, I knew he already was. On Thanksgiving day, I gave him my phone number and we texted all day, and everyday until I came home that Sunday. I invited him up to Sutherland to stay with me that night, even though it was completely crazy and could be considered reckless. When he got out of his car, he walked up to me, and I wrapped my arms around him. I knew then that I loved him and that we would be together forever. I know now that "love at first sight" happens, because it happened to me. Little did I know, it would happen again.
I was nervous to meet his son, and I had complete justification in so. Evan was 3 years old and at that age, they can decide (and verbalize) who they don't like. When Jake opened his parent's front door and that bouncy little boy came up the stairs, I fell in love. His beautiful brown hair, deep brown eyes, and his father's smile had me hooked. Then, all my insecurities were wiped out when Evan had a long conversation with me, wanted me to see his toys, and gave me a hug. When Jake told me the story of Evan's birth-mother, my heart broke. Now that I think back, I know that that is the reason why I took to the "mother" role so quickly.
I moved from Sutherland to North Platte in February, 2011, and I knew on the day that I moved, that I wanted Jake and Evan to come live with me and be my new family. We decided to wait until we had been together a little longer and until Jake had been full time on the railroad for a while. Then, we finally decided that they would move in on September 30th, which makes me jump for joy!! Evan has recently started calling me "Mom" and we have asked him why and he says (in his own words), "Because you and Daddy a get married, and you be my Mom." I have explained that it is alright if he calls me Mom, but I will never ask him to or pressure him to keep doing it. I am not going to lie, it makes me more than elated that he wants to do it, however, I feel like there are going to be some problems in the future with his biological Mom. In all honesty, I have spent more time with Evan in the past 10 months than she has spent with him in his whole life. I love him as if he were my own, and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life being his Mom and Jake's wife (someday).
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