Heaven Has a New Angel

Today I had to take my old dog to the vet to have her put down. She was in so much pain and she hadn't eaten in two days, so it was time.

I got Holley when she was just a tiny puppy. It was Christmas time and my Mom decided that it would be a great present to bring me a puppy from the pound. She was so little, and bow-legged, and she had my heart from the first time I saw her. I worked very hard to train her and I found it extremely easy with her being a Border Collie/German Shepard mix. She was the most loyal dog I ever had and she stuck by me through it all.

Last night, however, when Jake, Evan, and I came home from Nannie's, she was laying on the kitchen floor gulping water from her dish. I knew that something wasn't right so Jake carried her outside and she went potty and I got Evan ready for bed. We put her in the bedroom with us with the gate up so she didn't go drink more water because she was throwing it all up. Jake had to go to work so I was alone and I had to wake up almost every hour to clean up her messes. It broke my heart.

When Evan came in to wake me up this morning, she looked a little better. But when I opened up the gate to take her outside she didn't even try to get up. I knew that I would have to say goodbye. I called the vet and they said to bring her in right away, so I got Evan set up to watch a movie and Jake carried her out to the car for me. I gave him a kiss goodbye, and drove to the clinic. When our vet came in, it only took him about a minute to tell me that there was nothing he could do. I knew that was what he was going to say but it still hurt. They came back in with the syringe and told me I could hold her and tell her I loved her while she slipped away. She took one last breath and he confirmed that she was gone and I started sobbing. They left me alone with her for a little while and I said my goodbyes and left.

We are going to have a private cremation and my Mom and I will be taking her ashes out to the lake in Sutherland. She loved it out there.

I miss my dog so much and I know she is in a better place but I still wish she was with me.

Officially A Family

Well, today was officially the first day that my house had a man, woman, and child living there!! Although we spent all day at Nannie's house, it felt really awesome to go "home" with my men. It is everything I ever dreamed it would be and more. Evan got a bath went we got home and played for a little bit and then we kissed Daddy goodnight and goodbye since he had to work. I read him a couple books and set up some music and kissed him goodnight. Now, I get to lay in bed knowing that I have my little family at home with me. I am one happy birdie tonight :)

Tomorrow is another day of cleaning up Jake's old room at Nannie's and then we have a birthday party to attend in the afternoon. I have a feeling I am really going to like this whole "mommy" business. Plus, having a small child around will keep my ADD in check, no more boredom for me!! Hello Parenthood!!

I also have some other good news... I am going to be an Auntie!! We just found out this weekend that Jake's twin brother, Josh, and his fiance are expecting. I am one of 7 step-children (including my step-brother who died of cancer at the age of 18) and none of them have kids yet so this is the closest thing I have to a niece or nephew. Auntie Kimmy is going to love him/her so, so much and he/she is going to get spoiled so much!!

Now, Jake and I have the wedding to look forward to. We aren't officially engaged yet but we have decided on May 5th. I asked Jake if he was going to propose sometime between now and May 4th, and his response: "Maybe." Hahahaha. I can't wait to be "Man and Wife" and start expanding our family. Evan calls me mom, and it will be even more exciting when I have a little one myself :)